Friday, February 22, 2008

Bullies

Today I read a scary story about a middle school student from Reading
http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-stab-feb20-cn,0,5503879.story
who was bullied and then brought a knife to school and stabbed four students. Now the boy is being placed in a "mental health program." I am concerned about my son who attends first grade the Allentown School District. He has been complaining about being bullied, and when he tries to defend himself he gets in trouble. After bringing the problem to the attention of his teacher and the principal I have concluded that there seems to be no serious punishment for the bullies who start the trouble. Then these little hooligans go right back to bullying, cruel name calling, and trying to get good kids in trouble... because they can get away with it!

It seems like kids can get away with a lot more now than they did when I was teaching just seven yrs. ago. And don't forget, this is a school district where first grade boys were raped in a bathroom at Central Elementary by an older "problem" student, who was unsupervised, and the district claimed it was not responsible. This is why I believe it is important for parents to be advocates for their children and to pay attention when a child complains about bullies. It may not be serious, but then again a small problem, if not handled properly, could escalate into what happened in Reading, or at Columbine for that matter. Now there is the "Feb.29th" threat of violence in our schools. I got a recorded phone message last night from the ASD assuring me that Allentown police are aware of this threat. But the recorded message gave me no info at all about Feb. 29th. If anyone reading this knows anything, please comment.

As a former ASD teacher I know how hard it is to control and supervise a large group of kids, and I know there are good teachers and principals who really care about the kids, but it seems like some kids are getting away with some very bad behavior. Discipline does not seem to be a priority for teachers and administrators. That's how it looks to me, now that I am a parent and see things from a different perspective.

12 comments:

michael molovinsky said...

dottie, i can tell you there were bullies in school 55 years ago, when allentown's biggest problem was keeping hopalong cassidy from falling off the horse during the halloween parade (down hamilton street). i'm afraid it may have to do with boys being boys. this is not to say it's not a problem, or that you should ignore it.

Mrs. Dottie said...

MM,

Kids were getting the paddle at school back then! There was some fear of authority. I can remember the nuns using rulers on knuckles in the 70's. I realize boys will be boys, but now these boys are killing other students and there has been an escalation in school violence.

Anonymous said...

It's the rare serial killer who wasn't abused as a child.

And correct me if I'm wrong but the Columbine killers and pretty much every other kid who goes on a school killing rampage has been the target of bullies, while teachers and principals looked the other way.

Child abuse by adults, and child on child bullying, in addition to being personal violations of a traumatic nature, are crimes against society-- because the victims so often strike back at the same society that didn't protect them by stopping the abuse or the bullying.

Children who are being bullied should be instructed by the school principal or gym teacher in how to throw an uppercut punch that will break the bully's nose and cause a torrent of showy blood to flow.

Odds are, this bully's bullying days will be over.

Peace. Through strength.

zfollweiler said...

I don't think there is a good answer out there. I had to deal with a few bullies growing up. Just ignoring them has limited results. When you ask teachers to change your gym or lunch schedule, they refuse(until there's an incident). My nephew had some success with dealing with bullies by being enrolled in Karate.

Bernie O'Hare said...

I'd suggest pulling your son out of ASD and enrolling him in a private school or home schooling. As a teacher, your son would get a superior education and could develop sopcial skills thru sports. My grandson goes to catholic school, and it has been a wonderful experience for him. Mynephew teaches in A-town schools and claims things are bad. Retired ASD says much the same thing.

But your son really looks like a ball player and i doubt anyone will be bullying him for long.

Mrs. Dottie said...

Bernie,

I wish I could home school him! Actually I feel like that's what I am doing now because he's a creative kid and I have to supplement his day with stuff like geography, which he does not get in first grade. He does better with someone else instructing him. He's a strong willed kid, like his dad. I am thinking about the charter school of the arts for him.
Private schools are so expensive, unless he gets a scholarship we could not go that route.

I taught with "retired ASD teacher." We had lunch duty together. I would appreciate his comments here, but I don't know if he is aware of my blog.

Your grandson sounds like a neat kid!

A.J. Cordi said...

When growing-up, I attended three different school districts and attended six different schools plus a night school. The bully situation different from place to place. It differs from individuals to gangs, pairs to groups, etc.

I can recall times when I literally had to break the rules and get myself suspended from school (by defending myself or fighting back) to keep myself out of the hospital, and in some instances, stay alive.

Sadly, all the schools that I’ve attended ignore the situation.

This is perhaps a reason why I believe students in the younger grades, and even in the secondary schools (but starting heavily in the younger grades) need to work in groups more instead of sitting individually while a teacher does nothing but stand in the front of the classroom.

Through my observations (thus far) I’ve noticed that it’s the younger, more newer, teachers that tend to walk around a class more and allows the students to use their creativity. The older teachers, usually the ones with tenure, are strictly by the book and usually lost without it.

By keeping the students separated, they lack more social abilities. When this happens, I believe that more bullying and teasing occurs. Grouping students together (randomly, not just by skill) may be harder in some schools, but perhaps that’s where it’s needed most.

Mrs. Dottie said...

AJ,

Wow, thanks for commenting, that's quite a story. I'm surprised you were able to concentrate on your studies.

I think grouping kids helps,and is the ideal situation, but sometimes it is just not possible because the teacher must stand in the front and oversee the entire class for safety reasons. I found that direct instruction in front of a large class (over 30) was all I could do to keep order.
I had to do this when I went room to room to teach art. At least they learned how to draw because I showed them step by step at the board. Sometimes up to 5 special ed kids were added to my class, so I really had to watch for discipline problems.

I think teachers and administrators should take bullying more seriously. Parents need to get involved too and not be afraid to confront administrators.

A.J. Cordi said...

I should have noted that the classes I've seen with grouping are generally around 20 students (estimated).

Anonymous said...

Retired ASD teacher here.

Hello, Dottie!

I have been aware of(and reading) your blog. Sorry, I've been away from blogs for a few days.

I was with ASD for about 5 years after you 'took on a higher calling.' I can tell you, things have grown far worse. Classrooms continue to be cut in half (sq.ft.), rosters continue to grow (now as high as 37), and most classroom teachers think of how best to get away.

My suggestion is, home school your son. He would not then be subject to the usual abuse many kids receive from much larger, academically challenged, transient, gang-wannabe,system abusers that continue to grow in number.

For now, your son is probably OK where he is. Any trouble will start about 3rd grade, when he will encounter 'otherworldly' kids who should really be in Grade 5.

There is an incredible amount of home school material now available online, at no charge.

FAR TOO MUCH time is now spent in ASD trying to explain basic human decency. Less and less time on academics.

Of course, ASD sees/admits to little of this. You and I know better.

Take care.

Mrs. Dottie said...

Retired ASD teacher,

37 in a class! That's crazy. I don't think my son will be attending middle school in the ASD, even though they are building an addition to Trexler and I believe South Mountain will be renovated. I really wanted to support public education but my child's well being is more important. Hope you are enjoying retirement!

Anonymous said...

Well, the NRA would like to teach firearms safety in schools, so stick it out a few years until they start issuing handguns instead of books!